Struggling with Suicide?

My mind constantly flip flops from pure positivity to negativity. From love to suicide. Im contemplating my life. It sounds silly and embaring but it is a constant struggle. I do not do drugs, have lots of friends, a happy family life, I am a successful artist, I am only 22 etc. When I comprehend the terrible things in the world like hunger, war, etc. it just feels like there is no point. I hate the idea of being born, getting a job, having a family and dying old. It just seems so pointless. I was raised religious but in the past few years have lost all of my faith and no longer believe in God. I know I need help and struggle to gain the courage to ask but know I don't want any religious advice, that part of my life is gone.I convince myself that I should commit suicide but on the way home get a cup of coffee to keep going because I am tired.Do you see the paradox there?It is like the two halves of my brain can't agree. Almost out of time, need some ideas...